Category Archives: comedy
Baby Don’t Ask Me Why
The Innovations A Children’s Bed time Story
The Innotions
My dear child in a planet far away in this vast universe of universes there existed the cutest little creatures called the Innotions, they were a cross between a butterfly, firefly, bee and dragon fly, they had the cutest little faces
In this planet called the Innotion planet in a universe of universes the Innotions had friendship with the flowers, they had a loveable comradeship with the flowers the flowers would not have existed with out the Innotions and the Innotions would not have existed with out the flowers
The flowers were pink, silver, gold, blue, purple orange and rainbow coloured, the innotions took honey from the flowers and took the pollen from the flowers in cute little buckets and transferred them to different flowers making such beautiful flowers that surpassed human imagination
The innotions had a king called Caesar and a queen called Cleopatra, they ruled the planet with love, law and order and they had a wise innnotion called Obah who was the advisor of the King and Queen, and was also a judge.
One day on planet earth there was a little boy called Ralph, who was 8 years old and was playing in the flower patch in his grandma’s garden, he was chasing a beautiful butterfly and as he was playing he saw a beautiful blueberry in the blueberry bush “but children this was a magic blueberry” it was bigger and more juicer looking than the other blue berries.
As he ate the blueberry suddenly he was flying in the air sitting o the butterfly, he was flying in the clouds, up above the clouds Ralph screamed Whoooa as the passed the moon and suddenly they landed on a soft beautiful pink flower, Ralph opened his eyes and said whoa where am I?
He was surrounded by the innotions.
The innotions were speaking among themselves who this funny cute creature was and were talking to them selves if this creature spoke any English,
Ralph scratched his blonde hair and said Hi I speak English. Immediately the creatures stopped talking and looked at this funny creature,.
Then the wise Obha Innotion spoke and asked him his name , Ralph spoke out his name and then the Obha spoke “ You Ralph son of an earthling have been sent here on a mission by our forefathers you dear boy are the chosen one to hold the magic sword of Good to protect this planet from evil scientists from another planet in another universe.
Raplh scratched his hair again and said me the chosen one, Obah said yes you my boy, as Raplh was looking around the older women Innotions were making a fuss over Ralph and said “boy you must be hungry and gave him some yummy honey cake, and dewdrops that tasted like fizzy raspberry soda and yummy pollen sweets, Ralph had not tasted anything as “yumerfull” as the food given by the innotions.
Then the wise innotion, Obha spoke saying there was going to be a time when the evil scientists are going to try and capture the innotions but that was why Ralph was chosen to protect this planet from the evil scientists. The Obha spoke that Ralph has the power to protect the planet of innotions by using the force of the magic sword and the chosen one will make the planet invisible to the evil scientists.
Ralph then met the king Caesar and queen Cleopatra of the Innotions.They spoke to Ralph and as they were speaking they saw a large spaceship approaching trying to find the planet, so all the innotions held hands and Ralph stood in the centre and obha gave him the magic sword suddenly the sword took on a brilliant light that went all across the planet and Ralph held on to the sword and immediately the evil spaceship disappeared, Ralph was exhausted and went to sleep on the mountain,
Suddenly Raplh heard footsteps and heard his name Ralph…… Ralph…..
Ralph scratched his hair and opened his eyes he was tucked up in bed in his favourite blue car duvet and in his pyjamas,
He looked out of the window and saw the most beautiful butterfly with it’s wings glowing,
Raplh Ralph boy you will be late for school, Raplh looked at the sky knowing in his heart in a far of land, in a far of universe, there were cute little creatures called innotions
Ralph ran down the stairs, ran outside to the lane there the butterfly followed and then disappeared into the trees “Ralph oh Ralph you are one lucky kid”
The Little Girl With Magic Shoes A Christmas Story
In a far of country where food and money was difficult to obtain, there lived a little girl called Jenny with her grandmother in a small hut. Little Jenny had no shoes she used to watch the rich children playing in the park with their beautiful shoes.
As Christmas was approaching she knelt down by the side of her bed and prayed “ Dear Santa please give me new shoes for Christmas I have been good please oh please can I have red new shoes, it was a cold Christmas eve she held on to her shawl as she prayed,
Suddenly in the quietness of the night she heard sleigh bells ringing and as she looked outside the window she gasped in surprise as she saw Santa with his reindeers
Santa put his finger to his mouth and said shhhhh and gave Jenny a beautiful red parcel and told her to open it in the morning
Jenny gave Santa a hug and tried to sleep but she was too excited to sleep, As the sun rose in the early dawn Jenny ran to her parcel and opened it with sheer delight and there she saw the most red shoes with buttons. So Jenny put on her red shoes which fitted like a glove and out of curiosity she pressed the blue button, suddenly she was flying in the sky and she screamed in shock, fear and happiness, she then landed on a beautiful island and there were beautiful trees berry bushes and plumps and coconut trees, Jenny sat down and was eating a juicy plum when she met a cute little boy called Daniel, Daniel taught Jenny how to pluck the juiciest plumps and also how to climb the coconut tree and then jenny pressed the red button and was back at home with her grandmother ,She then showed her grandmother her magic shoes and her grandmother hugged Jenny with joy, but it was Christmas day and there was no food for grandma or Jenny and they were both very hungry, suddenly jenny saw the pink light flickering on her shoe and then she pressed the pink light and immediately there was a table with turkey, rice, noodles, cake and pudding granny and jenny ate till they were full and granny warned jenny not to tell her secret of her shoes to anyone.
Near Jenny house there was a wicked goblin, who was very curious, As granny went to sleep after the wonderful lunch Jenny pressed the purple button and immediately the hut was turned into a mansion, the wicked goblin could not understand how their hut had turned into a mansion and then noticed jenny running with her shoes with the lights flickering as the goblin started following jenny running after her jenny got scared till the shoes spoke to her and told her to press the black button and immediately the goblin was sent to another planet not to trouble Jenny or her grandmother anymore
In the meantime Jenny and Daniel became very close and became best friends, when Jenny was 16 years and Daniel was 18 years Jenny and her grandmother moved to the Island and Daniel and jenny got married, as Daniel kissed jenny they heard sleigh bells in the sky and then saw Santa on the sledge waving at them jenny gave Santa a flying kiss and as Jenny and Daniel held hands they heard ho ho ho merry Christmas and happy wedding day
They got married on Christmas day as Jenny looked down her shoes had changed to glass slippers to match her wedding dress there were no more buttons
Sometimes dear children Santa may not bring big gifts but small gifts which can change your life around, so when you write to Santa ask him for that special little gift for special little you
Ho ho ho merry christmas
The Key Word Is Justification
When HE came to earth,
The virgin Mary gave birth
There was no party, laughter or mirth
But the King lay down His life,
To be born in a manger
Being called a stranger
In his family and hometown he was not accepted,
The Pharisees they respected,
He stood out and was called ordinary
But this great awesome Christ was extraordinary in the eyes of God
Because He was and is the Son Of God
He worked in His Father’s business in carpentry
But His calling was to save the world
From racism, jealousy and bigotry
Some called Him a clown
And the Pharisees wanted Him to drown
To keep His head down
I am sure He wondered why He was even born
But at His death which was more fascinating than His birth
The curtain in the holy of holies was torn
That was why through Justification our lives now have a transformation
This is the story of the exodus of redemption
This is no imagination
There will come a time of migration
To the New City
Sans racism, sans jealousies, sans bigotry, sans comparisons, sans competition
But filled with love from up above
Is that a dove
Yes it is time for peace all over the world
From the European Union to the United Nation Organisation
One Lord, One World United By Love
There are people debating cynicism
Worried about Gnosticism,
But simple child like faith will change the nations
For the city of the Lord
It is real,
It is written in eschatology
This is not some funny philosophy
When one sees it it is like walking in a life so magnificently surreal
It is like going through a wall
Made for both great and small of every race, language and creed
With no worry for money or greed,
He meets every need,
The golden gates are awaiting
Lord this eschatology is finished
Past, present and future are one
Lord Christ Is The Son
Little children playing, singing, laughing ,
ruling ,
This is the New World ruled and governed by children
With wise men as judges yet no punishment for evil in the past
Because this world is made for Love, by Love, with LOVE
Amen
The Meeting Of The Sparrow Clan,
The Meeting Of The Sparrow Clan
There was a flutter and another flutter, there was a queek and a keek and more queeks and keeks, there was a sparrow clan meeting much like the house of Lords and the house of Commons.
The Sparrows were unfortunately just the commons.
While the parrots and Geese and Partridges were the House Of Lords.
Now the Chair man in the house of commons said order and immediately the Keeks and qeeks ceased. While the speaker arose and said today we are going to talk about the very naughty cat called the Improbable Matrix which is causing an uproar in the bird world, wounding and frightening sparrows, robins, and pigeons and scaring them away from the seed baskets put out by the friendly humans and this improbable Matrix actually eats the seeds before the birds get to it.
There were a aye queek and aye keek by the birds.
Then there was silence while the Mayor Of Willow Land said Mr Chairman may I speak, yes you may qeeked Mr Chair man. I suggest said Mr mayor of Willow land that we get Scotland Yard after the improbable Matrix, Aye Aye Qeek and Keek said the Birds.
Then the Prime Minister who was a gorgeous white Cockatoo was invited to the gathering that evening and the ruling party and opposition party of the birds formed a Joint party to get rid of the improbable Matrix, with no squabbles of qeeks and keeks, Then the Chair man said order order let the Prime minister speak, Mr Cockatoo who looked every inch a bird prim minister said “ We must trap the improbable matrix or the birds will be in trouble
So the sparrows thought of a plan, So Mr cockatoo of 10 downing street had a friend who was a lawyer called Mr Mickey Mouse who also was a mafia ring leader who very few knew about so Mr Micky Mouse was called on Skype during the meeting in the parliament on a large screen in the house of commons, So Mr Chair Man said you may speak Mr Mouse , Mr Mouse said “ yes the Improbable Matrix is also causing horrendous crimes on the mice as well”
So the mouse mafia, the bird clan and Scotland yard which was a mixture of Dalmatian and Husky police men decided to capture the improbable Matrx and put him in prison. But they had to have a clever plan,
So the birds decided to put a stick with the feathers given by the parrots and partridges from the house of lords stick them to a stick so that it looks like a bird under the bird they put a large net given by Mr Micky Mouse so when Mr matrix jumps on the bird he gets caught in the net.
So the plan was laid they got a red stick with an orange beak and lots of feathers and laid in wait on Mr Matrx favourite hunting ground willow park, suddenly there was a shuffle, and a buffle and luffle and then the improbable Matrix jumped on the bird and was caught in a large net.
Mr Matrix was taken to court with a jury of mice, birds and dogs and was convicted of crime the judge who was a badger said he should spend 5 years in prison there was an uproar and the improbable matrix was caught the animal and bird community were no longer in danger.
Do you think Life is always just and fair the answer my friend is life is not always the way you want it , It was ordained by the Higher power we call as God, but remember He is watching, He is in control and you will one day say “ WHY” but He will smile and say forgive, so you and I can live, not just for jealousy, justice and bigotry but on the contrary love , forgiveness and acceptance.
The end
The Funny Bear Who Loved Honey
Funny Bear Who Loved Honey
There once was a funny bear who had no money all he wished for was a bucket of honey
One bright day when the weather was fine and sunny
He had a grumbling in his tummy
He wanted that bucket of honey from the store but funny bear was broke and had no money
So he sat on a log of wood and as he drifted to sleep
He heard a screech and there a beautiful parrot, stood with a carrot
So funny bear said “parrot oh parrot you have carrot but I am broke and sore and want that bucket of honey from the store”
Haughty parrot replied oh my wings are tired I travelled a lot, but I am sorry I have no money for your honey pot,
Funny bear went for a walk looking for someone to talk
What he saw gave him a shock
There was a carnival in the forest and there was a stage for anyone who wanted to talk or sing or dance
Funny bear looked like he was in a trance gave his name this was his time for fame and the winner got money if he was entertaining and funny
The weather was bright and sunny
Funny bear took a deep breath and people were looking at him with curiosity
Funny bear thought to himself this is not a time to worry, he had to have that bucket with honey
His friends always said he was funny, the curtain arose funny bear took the mike and started telling funny tales and the laughter came in bales there were more tales and more laughter
This funny bear was now a comedian master
When the time finished and the curtain close they put a bill in his hand and his reaction froze he was no more funny broke and sore he won the score he went to the store and had his pot of honey he now had money for many pots of honey
The next day he sat on the green grass eating his honey and counting his money he said to his friend the haughty parrot you have a carrot but I am funny and that I will never regret
The end
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